you say, "love is a hell you cannot bear"

so strange is this life.  so imperfect in all its dalliances.  all our mortal lives we seek something.  for some its money.  others its murder or sex.  for me, its happiness.


sounds random, i know.  the impossibility of being happy is something that ruins so many lives.  it is far easier to make money, murder or fuck.  to change ones perspective on an emotionally primal level is an undertaking that move would rather be oblivious to.  it seems so ridiculous to worry so much about changing something that should be inconsequential insofar as it should be naturally occurring and not something to have to focus on to achieve, like breathing.


its frightening, thinking of living an entire life without being happy.  perhaps that is why people need god.  or the idea of god.  they want to believe that all this suffering is for a reason.  otherwise, what is the point of life to be in pain only to die and be done forever.  everyone seems so afraid to live this life.


i believe i have once chance to get it right and ive gotten it wrong for so long that its hard to keep track of my mistakes.  so, i share my happiness with everyone.  you can take it and have a good time with everything, me, life, whatever, or you can leave and ill keep your share to myself and be better for it.  


i wish everyone the best, but i will make the best for myself, or i will die trying.