since the stars have shown, the devil has shown me the way

so i walked home last night at 4:15 am from just a little south of 5 points.  my journey took me through the heart of the social area that on any other night would be bustling with people though on mondays it seems that even the crack heads take a day off.  on a scale of 1-10 of danger, it was about a 6, though more like a 3 for me being that im a quite imposing fellow.  


everything was so empty that it was probably the most refreshing thinking time that ive had in quite some time.  the walk itself was only about 20 minutes or so over mixed terrain with lots of hills and cracked sidewalks.  i spent most of the trip walking through the middle of the street for there were no cars on it.  i had finished what i thought was an amazing night with some great people and i was striking out toward some deep-thinking alone time.  


the cool night air brushing against my face with the steady breeze at the tops of the hills and the eerily vacant landscape with nothing moving but nature was a memorable and inspiring experience.  though the trip was magnificent and lovely, a smart man such as myself knows not to tempt fate too often less he find himself the victim of one of lives regular happenings instead of just the sheer luck of not having to kill someone who tried to assault me or lying on the ground bleeding for not giving my hard earned money to a vagrant who is so desperate for a fix that they challenge someone who should be left alone.


this excursion put me in a separate state of mind than i am normally in.  it afforded me time to ponder my choices and actions of late and to examine them in an environment that was both foreign and familiar.  i could detach my cognitive brain and let it swim through the abyss of my thoughts while letting the reflexive me who checks corners and shadows for threats do the walking.


i came to no conclusions or revelations, but i dont suppose that was part of the purpose.  when i was in college, i went on many a ridiculously late night walks with my dear friend and it was a cathartic time that we shared our fears, worries and secrets with each other.  something i had forgotten to do due to inactivity.  i was reminded of it last night and can now cherish again for its cleansing and enlightening abilities.  who better to be devils advocate to ones irrationalities than the person who knows best what they are, ones self.


it was gratifying and relieving to have that release that i didnt even know that i craved.  this life is such a fleeting thing and must be embraced as often as life will allow.  very much like the purity of fire, it always burns, but sometimes must be stoked in order to refresh its life.  


so now i sit here, wistful, longing, for another chance to cleanse myself through solitude and introspection.  someday soon it will happen again and be embraced as an old friend and lover returned for just one night of intoxicating bliss.