while its fresh

scary moment coming up for me tonight; i am working solo for my first time. it should be good fun. i know what i am doing, mostly. it is a bit on the humbling side though. after this first time, all should be well though. have to be broken in sometime though right?

of all the things i could write about today, i cant seem to pick one of them. yesterdays was long and arduous task. i put a lot of feeling into that one. again with the choices. which way to go, what choices to make, what course to i push my life, what do i write about in this blog. how about fate?

life is what we make it out to be. we make out decisions and choose our own destinies. i believe that our lives a built upon our past decisions and the decisions we will make in the future. a bit like Chaos Theory in that our choices ripple outward like paths of an infinite selection through a heavy foliaged woods. we cannot see where the paths end or how many divergent routes there are among the choices we make. we can see a bit into the future, sometimes more so than others, but there are no guarantees because everyone else makes their own paths that intersect with ours and divert our initial goals.

we can make some assumptions about what tomorrow will bring, but in the end, everything is guided by us and by everyone else. there is no complete control. we have but illusions of consistency and delusions of our potential to guide our lives. take out victories where we can win them and accept our losses and failures when they occur. there are plenty of times that our inadequacies will bring us up short. roll with the punches and move on. get over it and get over ourselves. we are not as important as we think.

c'est la vie. moving on and moving along.