what is the point?

this meandering and coiling course of emotions that involve love, loss, regret and anger.  it has this ever tightening hold on my feelings and liability.   the purpose of all this overflow of turmoil wreaks it havoc on my mental state.  constantly questioning what is going on with how im feeling and why im feeling this way.  trying to find the purpose in this hurricane of everything negative and positive that has culminated my life to this peak of understanding coupled with confusion.  unfortunately there are no answers forthcoming.  there is no grand conclusion with the solution to issues of inadequacy and self-resentment that have been plaguing me for so long now.

wow, that was some mopey self-hating shit right there.  been a tough few days for me.  my cat (who is 15ish) has a bad heart murmur, a potassium deficiency and hypertension (which caused him to go blind).  he has 3 medicines that i have to give him everyday, one of them twice daily.  im glad the little bastard is fixed, because i love him, i just wish he hadnt gotten sick right now, for i just had to drop 400 bucks on my car and then another 280 on him.  right at the beginning of the month when rent and everything else is due.  however with a little struggling and some effort i can get through it and deal with all the other bullshit that is destroying my sanity and happiness.   just what i need, something ELSE to consume me.

sorry i didnt put this up yesterday, i just couldnt be tasked to do so.