we pretend not to see what we did

its been said that the only things that will still be living after a nuclear holocaust are cockroaches. as of recently i have a different thought on that. i think it will be a world of psychopaths and cockroaches. psychopaths are the only humans who have the mental capacity to do what must be done when the world is ending.

everyone likes to think that they have what it takes. the truth of the matter is that you have to be able to turn of empathy, regret and compassion if you want to survive whatever ends us all. when it comes to survival, feelings will only be a hinderance.

i know its not the end of the world now, nor is it likely to be in my life time, but we must always be prepared to do whatever is necessary to survive.

ive been told that i am crass and unfeeling. i am apathetic and an asshole. i am insensitive and uncaring. i may be these things, but i am also in control of my emotions. i am in control of what i feel and how i feel. i keep my feelings to myself and choose to experience everyone elses with them instead of sharing my own. its much safer that way and it makes people feel closer to you if you feel their emotions with them. for the most part, people dont want to know what you feel. their overriding sense of self worth makes them feel as if they must constantly project themselves upon others. its as if people arent comfortable feeling what they feel without the approval or reflected emotions on others faces.

the heart is a weakness. love is a broken will. emotion is subjugation to someone elses fleeting whims. if more people would internalize their feelings instead of subjecting anyone they can find to their bullshit then i think the world would be a much more tolerable place for the individual.

but who knows. i could just be that guy. that psychopath who really doesnt care about anyone but himself. perhaps that is me.