they like you, they dont like anyone

i have seen a lot of beautiful things lately. every time i see something that moves me, i am suspiciously without a camera that would do it justice. the camera on my phone is just too flakey and the resolution just not good enough to even bother trying to capture that image that struck me as beautiful.

the other day i walked out of work at 2am, the sky was very overcast and the lights were reflecting just perfectly on this house on a hill just outside of where i work. i wanted so bad to have my camera and a tripod. i could have gone home and gotten them, but by the time i would have gotten back, the beauty of the moment would have passed. i have the vision in my memory, but i hate the fact that i cant share it with anyone. it is such an amazing remembrance that i am glad i have.

i need to get out more, walk around and take shots of things. i want to put together a photo show with some larger pictures and some smaller pictures in odd frames and spaced together to make a larger portrait. ill get started on that right away.

it seems today is a day of simple pleasures. i sit here on my couch, watching children of men with my maine coon laying pressed up against me and alternating between purring and snoring. i feel his warmth against me and his comfortable and soft fur under my hands. he wakes and looks up at me with the love and adoration of a child for his parent. it is the simple pleasures.

i find it funny, that i am such a crass and insensitive individual sometimes. watching children of me, a movie in which people can no longer have children, i find it a refreshing to think of a world where breeding has been paused for a while. it really needs to be done. obviously not a permanent solution, but it would be a nice quick fix until shit gets more regulated or until we extend past our planet.

who am i kidding? the human race will never escape planet earth. we will never colonize alien planets. we will be lucky to escape our solar system. it seems like such a waste of technology to be confined to this singular planet in this lonely solar system. oh how i would love to be one of the people who gets frozen for 500 years on a journey out of our microcosm to another world light years away. sadly, not something that will happen in my lifetime. it probably wont happen ever. the way that we go about killing ourselves and planet, it is unlikely that we will ever be able to exercise the self control required to come together as one race and propel our lives beyond the boundaries of dreams into the realm of the future.

it is a terrible thing to constantly focus on the beyond. it is also a terrible thing to have a here and now that only inspires one to look beyond. the is truly the horrific part of our times; the fact that there is so little to be happy about. the future that lives in my imagination is where i derive the vast majority of my pleasure. yet, every once in a while, my eye spots a piece of fleeting hope in someone elses face that inspires a bit of joy on my part.