your mind goes to dark places, and you wonder why i keep the worst from you

so says Dr. Manhattan to Silk Spectre 2. it is something of a metaphor to my life. i cant always tell the truth for often it would hurt much more than help. i would rather be dishonest than to hurt someone. often the dishonest isnt a lie, its more of an omission of truth. sort of like indifference. a bit more like my life is an allegory to living. telling myself over and over again that things will be different or better in the future and that things have changed now to bring about an outcome other than what it will be.

to say that people are free to select their fates is to say that the breeze is welcome to choose its path. there is no possibility of free will. no possibility choice. people dont seem to realize that its not fate that guides our actions, its consequences. fear is what drives us to do the things we do. threat of reprisals is what guides our hands in making the choices we make.

so only with the lack of conscience will give us freedom to determine our destiny. only through lack of fear do we gain the possibility of living the lives we deserve. trepidation is what rules us and in the end it is what will destroy us.