i have probably committed more of myself to this than i should have, but when you care about and love someone, there really isnt a choice is there? i give, sacrifice and compromise because i think it will make a difference. it doesnt.
i see this perfect picture. i see a beautiful girl who is smart, funny and beautiful. i see smiles that come naturally and not forced. i see bottomless potential just waiting to be realized and performed. i see happiness in blue eyes that shine even at night. i see all these things in my head. the reality is far less attractive. the reality is a veil of pleasantries over a pit of catastrophe. its harrowing and debilitating to my state of mind.
i would continue to give and to sacrifice if i was only asked. if i saw some glimmer of hope in eyes that have given up on life. but as it sits, all i have and see tells me that im struggling for something that wont come to be by my will alone and im the only one fighting.
